Original Article:
Every admin who signs in to the ABC Admin Portal has a unique session. Every admin who authenticates using an API Key also has a unique session. ABC Co. allows the termination of these sessions from the Client Sessions page. Only admins with the corresponding role can initiate a termination. To learn more, see Configuring Administrator Roles.
The Rewrite:
An admin who signs in to the ABC Admin Portal acquires a unique session, as does an admin who authenticates using an API Key. Sessions can be terminated from the ABC Sessions console. To initiate a session, an admin must be associated with the corresponding role. To learn more, see Configuring Administrator Roles.
Explanation:
- The word “Every” is implicit and shouldn’t be used unless the writer needs to emphasize that there are no admin types that don’t create a session, which in this context is probably unlikely.
- The word “of” can contribute to a less than direct sentence. There is a better way to write the phrase “termination of these sessions.”
- You can avoid using the word “Only” by simply declaring what is necessary.
Original Article:
About the Client Sessions Page
On the Client Sessions page (Administration > Client Sessions), you can do the following:
- Refresh the Client Sessions page to reflect the most current information.
- Filter the information that appears in the table. By default, no filters are applied.
- View a list of all client sessions. For each session, you can see the following:
- Admin ID: The ID for the admin with a current session in the ABC Admin Portal.
- API Key Name: The name of the API key for a current API session.
- Client IP: The IP associated with the client. This only applies to an Admin ID.
- Session ID: The unique ID for this session. This only applies to an Admin ID.
- Active Time: The amount of time the current session has been active.
- Expires In: The amount of time until the current session ends.
- Delete a session.
- Go to the Administrators page to add a new admins or manage existing admins.
- Go to the Roles page to add new admin roles or manage existing roles.
- Go to the Audit Logs page to view and download admin audit log records.
- Go to the Acceptable Use Policy page to view or update the AUP for your user portals.
The Rewrite:
The Client Sessions Page
The Client Sessions page (Administration > Client Sessions) allows you to perform the following:
- View current session information by refreshing the Client Sessions page.
- Filter session information by certain criteria. By default, no filters are applied.
- View a comprehensive list of client sessions. For each session, the following data points are made available.
- Admin ID: The ID of the admin who initiated the session.
- API Key Name: The name of the API key for the session.
- Client IP: The IP associated with the client who initiated the session.
- Active Time: The amount of time the session has been active.
- Expires In: The amount of time until the session ends.
- Delete a session.
- Add a new admin or manage existing admins accessing the Administrators page.
- Add a new admin roles or manage existing roles by accessing the Roles page.
- View and download admin audit log records by accessing the Audit Logs page.
Go to the Acceptable Use Policy page to view or update the AUP for your user portals.
Rewrite Explanation:
- Removing the words “On the” before “The Client Sessions page” makes for a stronger sentence.
- The word “About” is unnecessary and should be removed.
- If Administration > Client Sessions is what you actually see in the interface, it should be bolded.
- The word “perform” is better than “do”.
- You should emphasize the functionality of viewing current session information by performing a refresh rather than starting with the word “refresh” . The word “view”, rather than “display”, more accurately describes what the user is doing.
- The list should not be enumerated. These are not tasks that are required to be performed in a particular order.
- The use of “current session” is unnecessary and a little awkward since each record is a “current” session.
- The list should emphasize functionality. Although it is a little awkward to describe functionality that is present on different pages. This info should potentially be removed from the list and added to a paragraph that describes additional pages that can be accessed.